In March, Jarod and I entered a realm of sadness and uncertainty, heartbreak, loss. We entered into a world of confusion, emotions, and a lot of tears. We entered into a world we did NOT see coming. Did not understand. Still do not understand. It was hard, it IS STILL hard.
Now, although I had him, the most amazing human in the world, I also was not alone in any way shape or form.
In 2014, I joined Younique. Yup, but if you’re struggling for community, love, understanding– keep reading. I said “what if…” and joined. I joined for the makeup. It’s legit. And it would be free! So ninety-nine? Done. I spend more on fast food than that. Literally… stuff my face. So, there I was. A new presenter. WOAH. I posted a couple pictures, I was added to some groups, connections were made, watered, nurtured, cherished…
Fast forward to March 3rd, 2017. The day We went in and they said “I’m so sorry…”- the day my perfect to me world crashed around me and I found out I would never meet my sweet baby here on earth. I broke down. I told the world, and I told the world because I NEEDED to say something, but I didn’t want to talk about it. Luckily, that’s what’s amazing about social media. I can say what I want, but I didn’t need to engage in conversation. I didn’t need to HEAR other stories. I wasn’t ready. I just wanted to get it off my chest before it exploded.
What I never expected was the outpouring LOVE from every single person. People I didn’t know, messages from people saying “you are not alone” – “you will never be alone.” The love, support, kindness, compassion… from strangers who I DIDN’T KNOW, but we were connected through a community and sisterhood that I said “what if…” to a couple short years earlier…
They reached out and gave me their wings when mine were broken, gave me their voice when mine was cracking, gave me their strength when mine was nonexistent. They walked through hell with me. I was not, I am not, and I will not ever be alone. And neither are YOU.
I got “you’re so strong” a lot. But I was not. I was not strong. I’m still not strong. I’m just moving forward. It doesn’t get easier, it just gets “normal”- it’s just a new normal.
So please, Know you are not alone, even as a broken, lost, scared, mad, a “hot mess” soul— you are NOT alone. You are never alone. I am never alone.
And when you have something mean to say about my company, what I do, why I do it– please know, it is MORE than makeup.